11/1/2023, 8:25:09 PM
Final Total Accrued Miles: 735.5
Final Total Mountains "Overed": 49
Sometimes it's over before you realize it's over; this is okay. Settle in for a long one -- conclusion post incoming.
Before I begin, I want to thank everyone for their support over the past 4 or so months of this journey. Deciding to walk away from your regular life into the wilderness for months at a time isn't easy, and having the verbal, emotional, and tangible support of friends and family helped make this a doable feat. You are all very much appreciated.
As stated in my previous post, I did in fact return to the trail and hiked for 2 days and about 20 miles before hopping off again for a reunion with some long time friends. We call ourselves "The Kids Table" in a very lighthearted fashion and it's been a standing tradition to get together every year for a long weekend to catch up in person. Trail or no trail I wouldn't miss that for the world. We had an excellent weekend together, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my friends.
When the weekend came to an end and it was time to head back to the trail, I found myself strangely reticent. An opportunity presented itself to stay off trail longer and I found myself taking it. What's more I didn't really feel any guilt for doing so. Yes the weather was good, the leaves changing making for ideal conditions out on the trail, however deep down I just didn't have the same drive to be out there that had propelled me earlier in the year. As I meditated on that over the coming days and week it became increasingly clear that while I could go back out there, it wasn't because I felt a call or drive to do so. I would certainly enjoy myself if I did, but the deeper things I wanted to experience weren't necessarily out there any more at this time for me (or so I believe). It took taking some time off, then trying to restart again for me to realize that.
So I've decided the hike is over. It's both strange and relieving. It cannot be overstated how important taking these steps and going on this fully layered physical, mental, and spiritual journey were for me. When I began this I didn't necessarily know how it would end and I think that's a lot of what made it special. I was free to walk and explore as long as I needed to. It turns out that was 735.5 miles from Virginia to Connecticut. There were incredible days, tough days, meeting all kinds of people from all different walks of life, deep introspection, and a certain focus on being present for all of it. Because of that leaving now feels like it would be the same as leaving a month from now, or even a month prior. I got and gave what I needed on the Trail.
Now I'll be the first to say that I don't have everything figured out. I didn't really go into this quest with that kind of expectation. Life continues to move for us all and while incredibly unique and formative, hiking was not the end-all-be-all. I will continue to "walk" even though it won't be on the Appalachian Trail.
I'm sure people will want to know where I will live and what I will do now that the trail is done. While I have some ideas (either discovered or reinforced from the trail), I don't have anything I'm ready to commit to yet. I think I want to explore this liminal state a bit more before fully re-entering the world I left. There are some wonderful people helping me do this. I am not deluding myself though, this state will end as all liminal states do. I can only hope to be ready for it when it does.
Like all good things, I guess that means the end of this blog too. To my surprise it's actually been fun keeping up with the posts. I'm not much of a natural journaler, but I've found it to be helpful in organizing my experience out here. Hopefully you've gotten some enjoyment and edification out of it as well; thank you for coming along on my journey. I look forward to seeing where my path leads from here. Drop me a line sometime, I'd love to chat about it -- the end is never really the end.
Happy Trails,
-SJ
Earworm(s):
Strangers -- City and Color: https://youtu.be/_lDPxeiXzvs?si=g9qGlyargJ_rzQ_c
I'm Gonna Be (500 miles) -- The Proclaimers: https://youtu.be/aJ9usrpAPao?si=SueBAFYiZoAFY6jL
State of Grace (acoustic) -- Taylor Swift: https://youtu.be/D3mJe28un4M?si=KuQ-RHog2BT1WZqv
The Other Side -- Geographer: https://youtu.be/8hqAH11cbrs?si=QrzeKjc1hEsO0nGt